A former atheist’s harrowing experience of how he was brainwashed and abused in the Charismatic cult.
I was born in Moscow, Russia, and adopted at 22 months old. I moved to the United States with my loving parents and was raised a Presbyterian. However, I soon became an atheist until a horrific 18-wheeler accident in October 2021 changed my perspective on the existence of God. I experienced severe back pain as a result.
In January 2022, out of desperation, I went to a Christian bookstore to understand who this “God” is. There, I met two people there who reasoned that I had a “demon” and invited me to their Bible study right afterward. This was the first time I was introduced to the Charismatic movement and I fell for it hook, line and sinker instantly. Little did I know the next two years would bring more sorrow than the peace that I yearned for.
The Charismatic movement told me that “salvation is a daily thing, and one can lose it,” “gay people are demon possessed,” and “pharmaceutical drugs are from Satan.” Because they interpret all the words in the Bible as literal, they always use Scripture to “combat Satan like Jesus did in the wilderness”.
They believed “Satan had grasped my life” and that I was “going to hell.” People whom I donated funds to for their ministry failed to help me in times of financial difficulty. Everyone turned their backs on me.
I was convinced to pray in tongues by repeating silly syllables that didn’t make any sense to me. I even fell down several times at their “revival events,” with people trying to cast demons out of me. Tongues never made sense to me, and I always saw people praying in gibberish. They even used it as a form of exorcism on people.
I observed how the Charismatics demonized anything and everyone who don’t fit with their agenda. People who were perceived as gay were being exorcised and they screamed. I even saw people lying in dirty grass, claiming “healing in Jesus’ name.” The name of Jesus was used as a spell for whatever these people wanted. Being “slain” in the Spirit, “drunk” in the Spirit, and even “high” in the Spirit was common, with people acting as prophets, evangelists, and apostles. People were coerced into tithing, and if they did not, they were shamed, demonized or even ousted altogether.
My leaders and members were supportive of me at first. However, when I started to question their authority, they would always cite scripture out of context, stating “we are God’s anointed and God has taken people out who come against us.” I believed this nonsense until I realized I was in a cult. When I left, I was accused as a “demon” by a pastor I thought who was kind, and I was even questioned by my ex-spiritual mother if I was a “Nephilim” or not!
I realized the charismatic movement was false when I completely left the church. I started researching ex-Pentecostals on Reddit and discovered others had similar experiences. Falsehoods in this movement included doctrines claiming that a person can lose their salvation (taking scripture out of context), that Christians can be demonized, and disturbingly, that demons are the root cause of all problems today. Focusing on demons like this nearly borders on demon-worship, which is part of the Satanic Kingdom, not God’s kingdom.
It was extremely hard for me to leave the Charismatic movement because I believed God spoke through those people. I trusted that their visions were real, and I thought everything they did was the standard that I should follow.
Interestingly and to my relief, no one persuaded me to stay. Instead, when I challenged their beliefs, they started to distance themselves from me, which made me pull back from them.
When I left the Charismatic movement, I lost all my friends in there. They believed “Satan had grasped my life” and that I was “going to hell.” People whom I donated funds to for their ministry failed to help me in times of financial difficulty. Everyone turned their backs on me.
I no longer identify with this movement and now see myself as “spiritual.’ I do believe that Jehovah and Christ exist, as well as Satan and his realm. Someone can choose to align with Christ and God’s Kingdom or join Satan’s domain, where the prince of the air rules. To me, salvation refers to Christians who sacrifice their lives for Christ and forsake worldly pursuits to be with Him forever. It is a gift, not something earned, and it cannot be taken away from those who genuinely seek to be with Christ for the true purposes of this faith.
To everyone still involved in this movement, please understand that you’re in a cult. Jesus never said to get “high” in the Holy Spirit, “drunk” in the Holy Spirit (drunkenness is a worldly term; Yahweh and Christ are not of this world), or slain in the Spirit.
Furthermore, worship of demons and oneself is indirectly connected to this movement because it involves focusing on personal emotions and problems related to “demons,” rather than on God and Christ. Additionally, self-proclaimed prophets claiming to speak for God are extremely dangerous because they cause people to trust in their words instead of leading them to the cross and placing faith solely in Christ. Lastly, please recognize that even if you leave this movement, you have been traumatized and deserve therapy.
Therapy has helped me reclaim my life and see things from a healthy, non-judgmental perspective.
Ex-Charismatics 